Return To Sender – Kira’s Story Part 11

Posted on April 12, 2013 by Kira Kenley

Kira Kenley will share her creative dilemmas and decisions every Friday over the coming months. You can read her earlier posts here

I am no longer an accountant. Is this true? Well no. I am no longer ‘practicing’ but I am still an accountant and it feels like a weight upon my shoulders. I always struggled in this profession because I was doing something I really did not enjoy. Someone somewhere once told me ‘Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.’ This is the epitaph I will be etching onto the headstone once I bury the accountant in me.

Why did I ever become an accountant? I suppose, I recognized I could make a good living, at least financially, and as my secondary school accounting teacher professed, the world would always need accountants. However throughout my career, I would watch as most of the people around me enjoyed their work and yet for me this joy was inaccessible. I pretended but deep down I knew my true calling lay elsewhere.

So, how do I finally put this part of my life to rest so that I can concentrate my energies on my true profession? What is it that makes me an accountant? On paper, I possess two certificates. One names me a ‘Qualified ACCA’, ACCA being The Association of Chartered Certified Accountants, and the other a ‘Fellowship Member’. What if I send them back?

It feels very liberating and exciting as I pack the documents away and type out my letter of resignation. The fear only begins after I seal the envelope and head for the post office. Now, it is really happening. When I post this letter there will be no going back and I will no longer have a ‘safety net’. My escape ship, should I need it, will no longer be firmly anchored and waiting in the harbour.

‘Am I mad? All those years gone to waste’, a voice in my head, claiming to be that of reason, tells me. I observe the sentiment and I wholeheartedly reject it for there is so much I can take to my new profession. How beneficial that I can do my own accounts or at least understand them should I be in the fortunate position to engage someone else to take on this burdensome task in my future. Furthermore, my working life has been like a rich benefactor, allowing me to invest in my creativity. Not to mention the great friends I’ve made along the way. So, nothing is wasted dear head voice. Nada.

As I drop the certificates into the post box, my stomach does a flip a bit like it does when I first go on stage or when I think about my honey. I take it to be a good sign.

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